My mom had a small picture on the wall in the entry way to our apartment. I looked at it and read the narrative on it several times. As a young boy it intrigued me because of the quasi forbidden word in the title. That was “ A Damn Good Friend”. The picture was of a small black Scotty dog, similar to Fala, the famous FDR best friend.
The narrative was “A friend is not a feller who is taken in by sham. A friend is one who knows out faults and doesn’t give a damn.“
I’ve remembered that narrative for at least 75 years now. It must have meant a lot to me. I’ve got another definition for that title.
A “damn good friend” is one you have continuously maintained contact with for over 66 years, even though you were rarely in close contact. He is a rare, invaluable asset and someone I treasure as a true DGF. Got it?
I met my friend, Adolf, when I was a sophomore at Queens College, NYC. That’s circa 1958. Wow, we’re old.
He was a freshman, but we were pledging together for an honor military fraternity in Air Force ROTC called Arnold Air Society. Like every fraternity, they put us through a rigorous hazing experience before allowing us to join.
Again, my dear friend’s name is Adolf. Can you imagine the flack he had to take for that name in a hazing situation. I watched with respect how he handled that flack without getting flustered.
When we weren’t getting hazed, we talked a lot about a lot of things. He lived close to the college, so I visited his home frequently. He had a Grundig Majestic stereo and we both liked classical music. I enjoyed listening to the great classics on a system that didn’t scratch and hiss.
What he may not have noticed at the time was I really envied his family. He had a lovely mom and dad and a beautiful younger sister. I was a semi-orphan. It was just my mom and me. My dad died very young, so my mom raised me by herself. Ergo, I envied Adolf’s strong and loving family. They certainly had their share of life’s struggles.
They had emigrated to the US from Germany shortly after the horrors of WW2.
When I met them they naturally spoke fluent German, but also spoke wonderfully in English.
Adolf’s beautiful sister, Lore, allowed me to take her to a few AFROTC functions like our Military Ball. That was a great honor for me and she was great fun to be with.
Adolf and I had a major decision to make in 1959. Queens College dropped AFROTC. I had been accepted into the advanced corps of ROTC. That means I was well on my way to a commission as an officer. However, to continue I had to transfer to Brooklyn College. They still had AFROTC. Hello 2-hour commute every day.
Adolf was pursuing a degree in engineering. That required two changes for him.
First, transfer to City College of New York (CCNY) in upper Manhattan. They had the engineering program Adolf wanted. Secondly, he needed to join Army ROTC (that’s what CCNY had) to satisfy the draft as an officer. That was the start of our separate pursuits.
I graduated from Brooklyn College in June 1961 and was commissioned as a 2nd lieutenant in the USAF. I left for active duty in Texas, with twenty dollars I borrowed from Adolf and the clothes on my back. The Air Force truly provided a new life for this latch key kid from the Big City. I paid the $20 back (I think).
Fast forward to February, 1964. I had the tremendous honor to be in the wedding of my dear friend, Adolf, and his beautiful bride, Doris.
About 6 months later, August 29, 1964, Adolf attended the wedding of Lt Don Scooler (moi) to his beautiful bride, Marjorie, at Charleston AFB, SC.
Throughout the last 60 years or so, we have maintained steady, if only occasional contact. Adolf served honorably in the Army for his required tour and then separated and had an outstanding career as an engineer, mostly in northern Virginia. I was a “lifer” with the Air Force and retired in 1991 after 30 years active duty.
I am very proud of our lifelong friendship. Our families have travelled together and we have visited each other occasionally. But most of our contact has been by telephone, greeting cards and, in more recent times, e-mail.
Marjorie and I recently were honored to participate for a small part of Adolf snd Doris’ 60th wedding anniversary. They spent it at Kiawah with family, but we got to host them for a short time on their arrival in Charleston. A super visit
Thank you both for your endearing friendship over these many years. Truly ”Damn good friends”. Enuf.