Parents, teachers, leaders please pay attention. Your intended lesson learned from an action you take toward your children, students, or subordinates may not even resemble the actual lesson they learn.
My sixth grade teacher, Mrs Flynn, one of my favorites, didn’t think her actions through over 70 years ago.
She asked the class to stay quiet while she did some errand outside of class. I’ll Be back soon. “She said. Stay quiet.”

As soon as she left, the class, including me, started talking with a buzz. When she came back, the buzz immediately stopped. (remember this was 70 years ago. Today she would be ignored or cussed out. ).
She said, “OK, I said stay quiet. Who was talking?” The correct answer, was “Every stinkin one of us”. Instead, initially she got silence. She then said, “ If you were talking, stand up “. No one moved for a minute. Then, stupid, honest Abe, (AKA Me). Shakily stood up. Nobody followed. God, it was lonely. Mrs Flynn then decided to make an example of me. Her intended lesson learned was “. When I say, be quiet, you should obey “. She said,” Donald, you obviously haven’t learned to follow instructions, so you need to go back to the fifth grade to learn.” She took me down the hall to Mrs Walker’ 5th grade class, where I spent the rest of the school day.

The actual lesson learned by me and probably most of the class, was “ Never voluntarily admit anything.” The casualty was the truth.
When I got home, I got scolded again by my Mom. One of my neighbors was in my class and she ratted me out even before I got home. Another nail in the coffin of truth.

Well. No big deal. The next morning I went to my 6th grade class. I remained a star pupil, but I learned a bunch the day before from both my teacher and my mom. “ Keep your mouth shut. “. Judging from these musings , I guess I didn’t learn it for the Long Term. Enuf.