Almost 60 years ago Jimmy Durante (Don’t you dare say, “Who?”) released one of my all time favorite songs, “Make Someone Happy”. One of the major joys of life is doing something for someone that truly makes them happy, even ecstatic.
I am so fortunate to have a small group of dear, old friends who meet for lunch monthly and immediately toast each other for making it through another 30 days. We call ourselves, “Geezers”.
I was in charge of our most recent Geezer Lunch on May 25. We always assign ourselves a thought provoking but simple project to discuss after lunch. That prevents us from lingering on our recent surgeries.
I assigned a discussion topic of “Tell us about some things you did in your lifetime that truly made someone very happy, therefore giving you great joy.” My first task was to see how I would respond.
I had little trouble thinking of some things I did for my mom, a widow who raised me by herself from age 4-22, when I went on active duty with the Air Force. Likewise, I could recall several things that pleased my wife, Marjorie, greatly. I cheated a little with my grown kids by asking for their input. I warned them that “not a damn thing” was an unacceptable input. In the next few paragraphs I’ll share my answers and their inputs.
I’ve mentioned before that my relationship with my mom, from about my age 12 to when I left home, was more joint survival with little money in a big bad city (NYC), than a typical mother/son relationship.
One of the things that brought a really big smile to my mom’s face occurred when I just turned 18 and got my Draft Card. That card allowed me to buy liquor in a store called a liquor store, no less. I bought her a pint of Imperial Whiskey. She didn’t drink much, but enjoyed an occasional “high ball” (a little whiskey with club soda and ice). She rarely could afford that luxury. Tell me how many 18-year olds could make their mom very happy buy bringing her a pint of booze?
About three years later I made her super happy again by getting her wedding rings out of hock. She had pawned them years before to get my brother a car. She continued to pay the interest on her loan so they wouldn’t sell the rings.
I made Marjorie, my future wife of 60 years this August, very happy by giving them to her on our wedding day August 29, 1964.
I made her very happy again when we returned to Charleston in 1989 after 22 years of galavanting up and down Interstate 70 on Air Force assignments. We have stayed in the “holy city” about 35 years now, but who’s counting?
The input from the grown kids was forthcoming and revealing. Christine, our daughter, immediately said, ”Taking me to Hawaii.” A bit earlier, I asked her, somewhat facetiously (BTW that’s the only English word that contains “aeiou” all vowels in the correct order). Before Google, we would say, ”Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls”.
Now what did I ask her was,“What was her Bucket List item?” She answered, “I would like to see the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor.” We made that happen a few months later.
Jeffrey, our youngest, said, “Taking me to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.” He’s still an avid pro football fan today.
Jim, the middle kid, brought a lump to my throat with one of his answers, not this one, though. On long trips, the three kids were stuck in the back seat with not a lot to do. I would sit at the wheel with my right arm resting in the back of the seat bent at the elbow. I could feel the kids (mainly Jim). Messing with the skin on my elbow and giggling. I knew exactly what they were doing but didn’t move my arm away. They were molding the loose skin on my elbow to form a “butt crack” and giggling about it. That I didn’t scold them or move my arm away, believe it or not, made him, at least, very happy.
The one that put a lump in my throat was simply “Asking for his advice.” That made him very happy to know I had that much respect for him. Hell, I trained him, and he’s much smarter on most things than I am. Hell, he’s now my editor on this blog.
I strongly urge each of you readers to do this mental exercise. I found it a bit surprising and enjoyable. I hope you do also. Enuf.
I just heard the following quote, attributed to Pope Francis, but truer words have not been spoken.
“Rivers do not drink their own water; trees do not eat their own fruit; the sun does not shine on itself and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themsters is a inge of nature. We are all born to help each other. No matter how difficult it is…Life is good when you are happy; but much better when others are happy because of you.” -Pope Francis
It’s nice to be put in great company. Thank you, Jim.
Ummm….I don’t think I understood the assignment, or I was not thinking. If you think you just made me happy by taking me to the Football Hall of Fame, you are grossly underselling yourself. Dad, I can spend all day and then some sharing all that you did to make me happy. You made me happy when you would hang with me at the Pope AFB pool and let me climb all over you and carrying me on your shoulders as you walked to the deeper end, you made me happy by showing up to most if not all of my baseball and football games even when I rode the bench for the duration…I always spotted you and was super happy that you showed (Mom did too by showing up to all my school plays in elementary school…I still can see her peering into the gym to make sure she was in the right place), you made me happy by just spending time with me whether it be doing something special like seeing the Bears play the Cardinals a week after Walter Payton broke Jim Brown’s rushing record or going to see that stupid movie, “Runaway” with Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons of Kiss or by taking me out for a drive when you can tell I was not in a good space, or reassuring me that there were “plenty of pebbles on the beach” when my heart was broken by a girlfriend breaking up with me. But, really you made me happy by acknowledging the struggle that Angela, Apollo, and I faced with Angela’s disability as our lives were turned upside down and then some. You made me super happy when you told me that I was a better father than you could be. As flattered and happy as that made me, I must say you are vastly wrong because you are the best father I could have ever thought of. You continue to make me happy with your unwavering support of me and my seemingly endless struggle with depression. Thank you for everything. I know that in my heart of hearts, I would not be here without your support. I have been in very dark places in the space between my ears, and whether I consciously or unconsciously sought it out, you reaching out to me…along with Mom (even though it destroyed me to know that Mom knew of my struggle as I tried to keep her from it as I did not want her to worry)…you both saved me. You have always been there for me and continue to do so, and I can never ever forget that and want everyone to know and understand that. I just wanted to let you know that you have done way way way way…..way more than simply taking me to the Pro Football Hall of Fame that made me happy. Just thought you ought to know. Thank you, and I love you…….and Mom.
Now You made me cry. Damn it. ❤️❤️