I’m going through the second most difficult transition in my lifetime.
The most difficult, of course, has been the loss of my partner in everything for 61 years. Everyone already knows how much that changed life around here. I’m still working through it one day at a time, with a lot of caring help from family and friends. I’m hangin’ in.
At the same time, or maybe it actually started a year or two ago, I am undergoing a slightly more subtle but also difficult transition of losing control.
What control??
As the patriarch of the Scooler family for as long as Marjorie and I have been family, I had grown accustomed to being the dude in charge. I usually was the major planner and operator of most large family get-togethers. (Or at least I thought I was.)
I am now getting freakin’ old. Eighty-seven next month. Things that used to be simple and straightforward now seem more complex.
These days, instead of planning big family operations, I seem to spend more time creating to-do lists for my support team.
My son Jim occasionally shows up to help me knock a few things off those lists. On one recent visit he was installing one of those Ring doorbells and said he needed something called a Wi-Fi extender. Somewhere in that process he changed my Wi-Fi network name and password from the perfectly respectable AT&T version to something now called “oldmanintheattic.”
I suppose that’s progress.
While I have a pretty good sense of humor and can laugh at myself (see all my stories for proof), he did leave me with a new doorbell, but without a working printer. The printer worked just fine before he “Improved” my Wi-Fi situation. When I try to print something, the computer just looks back at me and says, “What printer?”
I’m beginning to think it’s his way of making sure I’ll have a reason to ask him back for another visit.
As it turned out, instead of me calling him, he volunteered that he’d be coming up from Savannah for his birthday weekend.
I immediately assumed (bad word) that he and Kiersten would be coming together, so naturally I figured I should arrange some kind of birthday bash while they were here.
I called my wise daughter, Christine, to start a little planning. She said, “Gee, Dad, they may want to do something by themselves or with their friends.”
Ouch. She was right.
As it turned out, my assumption was off. Jim was actually coming by himself. Kiersten would be heading off for what she described as a “Wild Women’s Weekend,” which left him free to make the trip to Charleston, visit his dad, and help with a few more items on the list.
It’s not always the old geezer’s job to run everything any more.
Believe me, it’s hard to just be along for the ride after so many years. It’s definitely time for me to let go of the reins.
I will try my best to move through this transition smoothly. Much depends on the younger family’s willingness to take charge. It will surely make it easier for me to just chill if I get good signs that some other family member has stepped to the front to provide us a little direction.
Just feed the old man in the attic every now and then.
Enuf
